The Darndest Things
by Mattias Bacon
Summary: A guy is quickly employed at the (in)famous Pizzeria, and ends up meeting an old friend again.
1. Bear-ly Started

Disclaimer:I do not own anything in this fanfiction other than the story,not even the disclaimer.I wonder though,who owns the disclaimer then?

_**Chapter One: Bear-ly Started**_

A cool wind blew, as Matt briskly strolled through the crummy part of the City. He was headed towards a building, coated with 'bright red' paint. The truth was that the building was so old, that it didn't look red at all, more like a very faded pink. Matt glanced about the parking lot, noticing a small amount of cars, too few, he thought. As he made his way closer to the run down establishment, he saw a flickering neon sign, with a creepy bear head next to it. The flickering made it look as if the head was twitching, which made Matt feel uneasy. Beside the abomination of a mascot logo, it read "Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria", a name he had heard many times before. He happened to be heading there for a job interview, one he was slowly beginning to regret. He glanced down at his watch, the longer hand pointing at 6 and the short hand pointing at 8. He was half an hour early. Why he was having an interview this late at night was beyond him, and still seemed suspicious. He was starting to think he should turn back, but his pride and ego wouldn't let him. He couldn't just say he was going to apply for a job, but then chicken out because of a creepy vibe.

He finally mustered up the courage to walk through the old, yellowing glass doors.  
Matt was greeted by the divine scent of pepperoni, and mozzarella. 2 smells he simply adored. He surveyed the area a bit more, before he would search for his interviewer. He suddenly stopped, when his eyes met 3 incredibly odd looking animatronics-a bear, a chicken-duck-whatever-kind-of-bird, and a horrible representation of a bunny rabbit. He took a few steps back, dumbfounded by them. He could have sworn the bear was staring at him, too. He decided to pass the time by talking to himself, as he often did.a  
"Well it seems that I am completely and utterly screwed... I have heard the rumors about you guys, and how you might be responsible for the disappearing night guards, and I am the new guy." He spoke, in a medium pitched voice, with the occasional pause.  
"I hope you guys know, I am not an enemy, the literal job I am applying for is to protect YOU GUYS." Matt continued. "I am NOT an endoskeleton. I honestly don't know if the rumors are true, but..." Matt trailed off, as it looked like the bear had winked at him.  
After a few more minutes of staring, he was met by a man, slightly shorter than he.

"I presume you are Matt?" The man addressed.  
"Yes, and you must be the manager, Mr. McGuinness." Matt replied, outstretching his hand, to shake his future boss' hand. He gladly shook his hand back, as he began talking about his Company Policies.

"Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's pizza, a magical place for kids and grownups alike..." The manager continued, but Matt got sidetracked, as the bear seemingly flipped the bird at him, in what he assumed was a joke, but when he blinked, he wasn't doing a thing. 'I'm going crazy...' He thought.  
"Freddy's is not responsible for death or dismemberment..." That particular bit caught his ear. He was starting to regret this altogether. He ran his left hand through his short, dark blonde hair, as the Manager continued.  
"You are now hired, by the way. We don't really need the guards to have much skill, other than being quick, and strong, as well as smart, and you seem to hold those qualities." The manager said.

"The reason I asked you to come here so late was to be able to tour the pizzeria, and have you start tonight."  
Matt knew something was up, when the Manager said that. This was going to be a long night...

Hope you enjoyed, I want to thank my friend for proofreading, and uploading, without him it wouldn't be possible!


	2. Bear In Mind

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story,but I did manage to get this ,and the !

_**Chapter Two: Bear In Mind**_

Matt didn't pay attention to the tour, he knew every inch of this place, since he came here all the time as a kid. He was more worried about the bear, Freddy, moving his head towards him. The bear actually had the nerve to stalk him WHILE he was just getting started. The thing is, when he was little, Matt and Freddy were inseparable, best friends even. He knew about the... uh... tendencies these guys now had, as he was contacted soon after, by the 'previous guard'. He wasn't sure how that guy got his number, or if he was indeed the previous guard. Now he was starting to believe what this guy was saying. "These animatronics have minds of their own, man. They aren't normal bots, they want to KILL you." Matt still heard those words resonating in his mind. Before he knew it, they were at the office, his boss instructed him how to use the lights, and shut the doors. He was also informed of the power situation. He wasn't so keen on that little tidbit. He swore he heard footsteps, and he was sure it wasn't his boss, they sounded way too heavy.

It was now midnight, and he began checking the cameras. Dining room, all good. Pirate Cove, no creepiness there-unless you counted the sign. Show stage, there was your usual lack of horrifyingly ugly bunny rabbit-wait. Where the hell was the rabbit? Matt checked the cameras-dining room, empty. Supply closet, empty. West hall, empty. Backstage, not so much. What he saw made him despise that rabbit even more. It had taken out the fake eyes, and made it look like they were popping out of his head. He was sure that the damn thing was taunting him. The rabbit was far enough away, and it just turned 1 am. He decided to check the stage. Freddy was gone,leaving that strange duck behind. That guard lied to him when he said Freddy didn't leave often. He checked each camera, Bonnie was now in the west hall. Freddy was nowhere to be found. He checked each of his lights, and jumped when he saw the rabbit had plastered his face to the window, wiggling his ears, and chomping his jaws. He naturally **SHUT THAT FUCKING DOOR**, and began to panic. He couldn't find Freddy, and Bonnie was being a crazy bitch. He checked his other light, and saw nothing. He checked his other door, and saw the satanic rabbit left. It was 3:30. He had 45% power left, and Freddy was still gone. He heard a creepy, deep laugh, or was it a sob? Matt was getting freaked out, as he checked his left door, no smelly rabbit. Right door, you had your usual crying Fazbear, and creepy ass duck thing staring at you. Wait...a crying Fazbear? He didn't get as startled by the duck or whatever it was as he did the fact that Freddy was... sobbing, and bowing his head down in his doorway. If he shut the door, it would crush Freddy, and the pizzeria would sue the hell out of him. He stood up, and screamed at the duck, making that thing jump back, and making Freddy look up.

"Uh... I am not sure if you can understand me, Mr. Fazbear, but I do not want what you are selling." Matt hesitantly spoke. The bear looked up at him, and remembered something. He held up 1 finger, and sounded like he mumbled 'Wait', Matt didn't know why he obeyed, but he left that right door open. He was greeted by the rabbit again, who jumped into his face, screaming, reaching for him. He screamed as well, before noticing the rabbit had been laughing. He was cackling, even, but was then hit in the arm by a brown fist.  
Matt's heart jumped, as he looked, and saw a frowning Freddy, stare at the rabbit. Damn, Matt wasn't sure of what was happening. The rabbit stepped aside, and spoke.

"Sorry, Mister Security Guy. Nobody would ever let me in, and I noticed you left a door open, so I decided to scare you..." the rabbit said, in a stereotypical surfer's voice... come to think of it, he knew that voice. **SO THAT WAS THIS FUCKING RABBIT WHO CALLED HIM. IT WAS ALL A SETUP.** He nodded after glaring at the rabbit for a second, and scooted his chair back to the wall. He turned to a now smiling Freddy.  
"You thought we were gonna kill you... now why would I kill my best friend, whom I haven't seen in 7, no, 8 years?" Freddy said, which kind of shocked Matt. Freddy remembered who he was.

"Well, I'm rather shocked you remember me, Freddy..." Matt replied, all fear out of his voice, replaced with relief.  
Matt was immediately enveloped in a pair of bear arms. He returned the favor, and pet Freddy on the back.  
"Well, Matt, I'm really glad you took this job. This gives us time to catch up." remarked a smiling Freddy. One thing concerned Matt-where was Freddy hiding, and where did he go for half an hour?

"How did I not find you on my cameras, Freddy? Did you really take ninja lessons or something?" asked Matt, who remembered Freddy once telling him a story of how he had once trained with a clan of ninjas for a few years.  
"That's up to your imagination. Now then, I have a surprise for you. Think of it as a welcome back gift." Freddy finished with a smirk.


	3. The Bear Essentials

Disclaimer:I now own the story,the disclaimer and my bear bear with me,but I might have to steal some...

_**Chapter Three:The Bear Essentials**_

Matt was walking down the East hall with Freddy, still watching for that douche of a rabbit-thing. After a brisk 3 minute walk in silence, Freddy covered Matt's eyes, and nodded to Bonnie, who had followed them. Bonnie immediately knew what to do, and 'hippity hopped' off, getting out a drawing, and a small Freddy toy, one that looked very old.

"So... I think I'm gonna get pinkeye if you keep your paws on my eyes any longer..." Matt said, sarcasm apparent.  
Bonnie presented Matt with the two items, which made his jaw drop. His old Freddy toy that him and Freddy kind of... stole, as well as his drawing. It depicted Matt, and Freddy in army uniforms, fighting off several poorly drawn stick figures. The sheer memories nearly overwhelmed him, as he turned around, and gave a heartfelt hug to Freddy.

"Thank you... this means a lot." Matt spoke tearfully. Freddy gave an effeminate nod, and proceeded to speak.  
"Well, all sentiments aside... the darndest things have happened in recent years... a guy kidnapped several kids... almost killed them too, but Foxy, being the self proclaimed hero he is... may have bitten off his ear... he got the Cove closed in the process, since nobody noticed the guy taking children to the back..." Freddy began to bow his head.

"The guy hasn't come out of his cove for 9 years... I feel for him. The poor guy saved 5 innocent kids, though." Freddy finished. Obvious sorrow in his eyes, he looked at the Cove.  
"Well, maybe we can visit him tomorrow, but first, we have a score to settle... in the game of Mario Kart." Freddy added with a smirk, as Matt had a firey look in his eyes. Suddenly, a pristine, and empty suit, a yellow Freddy, appeared, without warning. It had startled Matt, but Freddy, and Bonnie smiled.  
"This is my brother, Frankie Fazbear." Freddy said, gleefully. Frankie grinned, as he stood up, an endoskeleton materializing inside of him. He outstretched a yellow paw to Matt, who hesitated at first, but then took, and shook it.

"Laaaadies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Watch in awe, as a rivalry 8 years in the making finally comes to the final battle. Man versus Bear, friend versus friend. The eternal rivalry will finally come to a conclusion after this race." Frankie spoke, in a typical, low and nasally sports announcer's voice as  
Matt and Freddy raced towards the arcade, to the Mario Kart machine.  
Matt, by nature chose Bowser, while Freddy took the wild card, Toad.  
After about 3 heavily disputed races, Freddy came out on top, only barely, if you asked Matt.  
Little did the four know, that a certain fox came out of the cove.

Cough cough title cough review cough chapter cough cough. Ah,that feels better. Sorry for the short chapter, but...(insert very likely reason for me posting a short chapter here...). I'll get a longer chapter up later, okay?


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